Friday, January 1, 2010

KAS
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This is the first time I've included somebody's name in a blog post to someone.
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Firstly, I do not hold a grudge against you, I am not angry at you and I do not hate you. I do not want you to be angry at me or whatever when you see me outside.
I need you to understand that.
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I just chose to ignore you because I've made up my mind not to get too close anymore.
For the past month or more, I've been contacting you, hanging out with you and such.
And you have made me feel so comfortable, so attached, so infatuated with you to say the very least. And as you know, I've been out of love for so long, and having someone with me can be more than a pleasure. You made me miss you, and want you and made me forget about the past hurt that I've been through.
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You'd ask for me to sit beside you. Have my arms around you. You wanted me to spend the night with you. You had your head on my arm, lying beside me, trying to sleep. That and so many more things. How can I not grow to love?
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In previous 'relationships', it wouldn't be uncommon for another guy to come in and 'potong jalan', and more than once, by somebody that I know. That has happened to me so many times before.
And for it to happen again would be unbearable. Unfortunately, I feel it has again.
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You let me get so close, you led me to believe that there was hope for something. And I find out you're so obsessed with somebody else. Somebody who you got to know only after me. And it hurts me that it's somebody I know.
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And it hurts me even more, when I see pictures and blog posts about you and him and etc2.
It hurts me to see how you get jealous when he's out with his ex or something.
That they live so close.
blah.
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and I'm not saying I'm not angry at the guy or anything. I am. It's just that this post is only about you.
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In the end, it got me thinking, wondering, "was she really into me? or did i get the wrong signals?"
either way, your actions have brought me up and shot me down. and it sucks.
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So I try now not to be too close, not to get too attached anymore, cos it will only end in heartbreak. But it's difficult.
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so yes. i expect a reply. an acknowledgement that you've understood what i said.
:)
take care kas.

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~~*Long Live PR201*~~


It is our world, it is ours.. And it has been stolen from us.. We set out to demand it back, only this time they didnt call us HIPPIES, they called us PUNKS..