Hate To Say I Told You So

Hate to say I told you so.
A very nice song from The Hives. An old song, but forever relevant.

My dreams haunt me. I dread every second when my eyes are closed. When my breath slows down to a crawl, silent and lifeless am I. It's the constant clockwork of my subconsious mind that bugs me.
I dream. I dream of wonderful things.
Things so perfect I should want to stay in slumber forever.
But no.
I don't.
For it is only in dreams that my life is flawless, pieces fitting together so effortlessly like a child's jigsaw puzzle.
But alas, my heart sinks deeper than the Titanic, deep, so deep the pressure crushes the throbbing fist of muscle that keeps me alive. It sinks when I awaken from time in dreams to realise that perfection was only a figment of my imagination. Merely a substandard mental manifestation of my inner most desires.
I wake up to see, with those eyes that were comfortably closed, the life which I dread now.

I am empty.
Nothing but an empty vessel, like a depleted oil drum, rolling down a dark alley, making so much noise.

And it hurts more to see that what I want, is taken for granted by so many other people.
And it hurts to see that those other people, are better off if I were to be an influential part of their life. A significant part of their lives.
Unfortunately, people make lousy choices, and they end up with the same bullshit that they promised themselves to get out of.

Give me a chance. To some, second chances. To others, at least look my way.
I strive to be, not rich, not successful, but to be the best kind of man a guy can be.
And I am confident that, although I haven't reached perfection, I am definitely superior to most others in so many ways.
I try to be near you every chance I get.
I try to listen to you every chance I get.
I try to make you smile every chance I get.

But I know where I stand.
You I will never have.
But for what it's worth,
I would love to make you happy.
And at the very least, I will be there whenever you need me.
Whoever you are.